Mattis to be on $20 Bill?

Proposed Rendition of New $20 Note

WASHINGTON—In a shocking turn of events, the federal Treasury Secretary announced 01 April that the proposed $20 bill, which was to feature the abolitionist Harriet Tubman, is now under consideration for replacement with the current Defense Secretary General James Mattis.

Mattis, whose rise to the presidential cabinet caused significant dispute, will now likely assume the coveted spot of the former President Andrew Jackson on the bill.

The issues surrounding the Defense Secretary’s appointment were predominately due to the recency of his military career, questionable statements, and wholehearted commitment to destroying the nation’s enemies.

Now, controversy arises yet again as Mattis may be the first ever living American to be represented on its currency note. Likewise, his current position within the Presidential cabinet raises questions of possible errant conduct amongst the administration.

The General’s military record also incites serious concern over the implications of this move. His 41 plus year armed forces career, filled with numerous combat deployments and high level commands, alludes to his aggressive nature and tenaciously patriotic mindset. Further, his diety-like command presence and cult following could provoke terrifying rifts in our already unstable political climate.

Current Secretary of Defense, Gen. James Mattis USMC (Ret.)

Fortunately, if the former General is selected, the final bill design will not be unveiled until 2020, with wide circulation achieved by the latter part of the decade. With this plan, the Treasury Department hopes to ease the American public into receiving the new bill and dissuade any further outcry or protest.

Nevertheless, controversy seems unavoidable. Not since 1929 has American currency experienced such a drastic change. Similarly, the Treasury Secretary’s comments last April, regarding the unlikelihood of the removal of Harriet Tubman from the bill, can only prompt animosity amongst certain groups.

Despite the high probability of social embroilment, this unprecedented move has potential for a semi-copacetic outcome. The recent detonation of the GBU-43/B MOAB bomb, on an ISIS target earlier this month, suggests that this administration’s Defense Secretary may be more interested in maintaining national security than performing social experimentation—a revolutionary concept.

Now, with the General’s possible upcoming placement on the federal $20 note, belligerent nations may begin to grasp the reality that the American people have not entirely degraded to pacifistic pushovers.

However, time alone will dictate the true effects of this new proposition. If you wish to show your support for this endeavor, join the others and pre-order your piece of history below to display your enthusiastic advocacy for the warrior monk Mattis.